21 Dad Jokes So Bad They Are Actually Brilliant

There is a special kind of joy in telling a joke that makes everyone groan. Dad jokes are built on puns, wordplay, and pure confidence, and the worse they are, the better they get. We asked readers to send in their family favorites, and our inbox has never been so full of eye rolls. Read at your own risk.

The Kitchen Classics

• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
• Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crummy.
• I am reading a book about anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
• Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing.
• I only know twenty-five letters of the alphabet. I do not know y.
• What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho cheese.

Out and About

• I would tell you a joke about construction, but I am still working on it.
• Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
• I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you did not like it.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
• What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
• Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself? It is two tired.
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

The Absolute Worst (Best)

• What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
• How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They do not have the guts.
• What do you call a pile of cats? A meowntain.
• Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
• What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. It just waved.
• I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something.

“My dad has told the scarecrow joke at every holiday dinner for thirty years. We pretend to hate it. We would be heartbroken if he stopped.” — A reader from Omaha, Nebraska

The Science of the Groan

Why are dad jokes so irresistible? Part of it is the setup. They are short, predictable, and completely harmless, which makes them perfect for every age at the table. The punchline is so obvious that the real fun is in the delivery and the dramatic groan that follows. For many families, they become little rituals that get passed down like recipes.

How to Deliver a Dad Joke Like a Pro

Keep a straight face. Pause just a beat too long before the punchline. Never, under any circumstances, apologize. And if nobody laughs, simply tell another one. Persistence is the true heart of dad humor.

Got a joke so bad it deserves a spot on this list? Drop it in the comments. We dare you.